Editor’s Note: Benny is a dog. Please forgive errors in grammar and spelling, as he has poorly differentiated fingers that cause him to smash his paws into the keyboard in a decidedly imprecise fashion. This is exacerbated by his enthusiasm for certain subjects, and leads to unusual spellings of words. We apologize for any inconvenience.
HELLO I AM BENNY AND SOMETIMES I AM CALLED BOOBOOS AND I AM A GOOD BOY. MY FAMILY LOVES ME AND I LOVE THEM SO SOMETIMES ONCE EVERY EIGHT DOG MONTHS OR SO THIS BOX COMES TO HOME WHERE I LIVE (I LOVE HOME IT’S GREAT HERE MY FAMBLY LIVES HERE MOMBLY DADLY CATSISTER THE BONES EVERYTHING IT’S GREAT) BECAUSE MOMMLY AND DADLES LOVE ME AND THE BOX HAS YUMS AND CHEWS IN IT.
THIS MONTH I GOT A SKRUBAL AND IT’S REALLY GREAT AND IT BOUNCES AND I HAVE TO KILL IT FOR DOING THIS I HAVE TO KILL IT. SOMETIMES I HOLD IT DOWN SO IT CAN’T GET AWAY BECAUSE IT TRIES TO LEAVE ME AND I DON’T WANT IT TO LEAVE EVER. MY MOM SAYS IT’S PERFECT FOR ME BECAUSE IT IS “DURABLE” BUT I LOVE IT BECAUSE I CAN PLAY WITH IT FOREVER. SOMETIMES MY DAD PUTS TREATS INSIDE IT AND I HAVE TO KILL IT HARDER TO GET THEM OUT. I LOVE FOOD.
ALSO THERE WAS A NOISY PENNANT THING THAT HAS SOME LETTERS ON IT THAT I CAN’T READ BECAUSE I’M A DOG BUT MOMBOOS AND DADLUT SAID I CAN’T HAVE IT BECAUSE I WILL DESTROY IT IN LESS THAN A MINUTE BECAUSE I’M WHAT THEY CALL A “HEAVY CHEWER” AND I LIKE TO EAT THINGS THAT I DESTROY BECAUSE IT IS DELICIOUS COTTON FOOD. THE NOISE SOUNDS LIKE CRINKLING PAPER AND IT GIVES MOMMO A HEADACHE SO IT DISAPPEARED REALLY FAST. DADDLY SAYS HE LIKES MY BARKBOXES BECAUSE THERE’S ALWAYS A TOY THAT CAN STAND UP TO MY TOOFIES, BUT HE WISHES HE HAD AN OPTION TO ONLY REQUEST TOUGH TOYS. ONCE I SAW HIM GIVE AWAY SOME OF MY BARKBOX TOYS TO MY FRIEND STANLEY THE CHIWEENIE AND I WAS REALLY JEALOUS SO I THOUGHT ABOUT EATING HIM. HE WOULD BE TWO BITES AT THE MOST.
THE REST OF THE BOX IS YUMS AND MOMBLES SAID I CAN ONLY HAVE A LITTLE AT A TIME BECAUSE I’M A “LARDAZZ.” I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. I GOT A DUCK CHEW STICK THAT WAS BROKEN IN HALF TO FIT IN THE BOX WHICH IS WEIRD BUT IT TASTES LIKE DEAD ANIMAL WHICH I LOVE ALMOST AS MUCH AS FAMBLY HOME. ALSO THERE ARE BACON STRIPS. YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW THIS ABOUT DOGES BUT WE LOVE BACON. ALSO THERE ARE SWEET POTATO CHEWS AND I LOVE THEM TOO BECAUSE THEY ARE FOOD. I LOVE FOOD. IS IT TIME FOR FOOD?
THANK YOU FOR LISTENING NOW RUB MY BELLY HOW DOES INTERNET WORK WHY NO BELLY RUBS?
SMOOCHES FROM POOCHES,
BarkBox is a monthly subscription box for dogs! Curated based on your pup’s size and needs, it is a great way to discover new types of healthy treats and awesome toys for your adorable pooch. Get 10% off your first box by clicking here!
Here’s what was included in this month’s box (as usual, it was awesome):
Pet Projekt Skrubal Football (large in blue) – $14.00 (Super durable and you can put small treats in it!)
Etta Says 12″ Duck Chew – $4 (100% duck, my dog loved it)
Safemade Pet Pawxford Pennant – $7 (Too noisy for me, but Ben probably would have loved it. Also, it’s just some fabric, not good for heavy chewers. Looks like this was an exclusive from BarkBox though, that’s pretty cool!)
Indigo Smokehouse Strips in Bacon – $10 (My dog will literally eat anything, just ask the emergency vet, but he especially loves bacon. He must get that from me. Plus, this store has a 2% cash back from Ebates which, if you like free money for literally doing nothing, you should sign up for.)
Barkworthies Sweet Potato Treats – $8 (These are supposed to be good for their teeth. Which is good, because I’m not trying to take Ben to the dentist any time soon.)
I am giving this box an A- because everything was great except for the fabric chew toy, which makes no sense for big dogs. As usual, we loved our BarkBox! We choose to pay for 6 months at a time at $19/box, but the monthly plan is $29/month if you go month to month. They have other pricing options, but all of them are a great value!
PS. Seriously, get an Ebates account. There’s no reason not to, unless you hate free money.
We purchased this box and all (strong) opinions are our own.